GP DISCUSSIONS.

Divorce, a social ill?

Divorce, although is a personal matter between a couple, but the people around them will naturally be affected too. Especially their child/children. Indeed the parents will go through emotional problems, but they are after all adults and will be able to handle their problems with maturity and more logically. Whereas children will experience a larger emotional turmoil. The following are some perspectives on the view of children in a divorcing family.

- The child knows nothing will ever be the same again. His old life routine will have a big change, and he might have that mistake notion that the breakup is somehow his fault. He will then try to "be good", hoping that the effect put in will stop the (inevitable)seperation

- Afraid that either parent will abandon him. Losing one parent is already enough, the child will fear that he will also lose the other. The idea of being alone in the world is very frightening for a child.

- After divorce, the child might have to move away. He naturally arelady has a sense of attachment towards the house, the school, his friends, his pets, his bed, his pillow etc etc etc. Yet he has to adapt to a new environment, which is understandable if he has negative emotions against adapting.

- Some parents might try to turn their child against the other spouse, and the child is now caught in the middle, unsure of what to do and what to say anymore.

All these have different impacts on different children. Some might grow up fearing commitment, for they do not want to end up like their parents. Children in a single parent family sometimes lack love and care from either one side of the parent or even both. That can result into improper upbringing. He can turn defiant and aggressive, or fall into depression. This can affect his academic performace, and if he will to eventually give up on his studies at a low education level and be stagnant there, he will definitely have problem finding jobs and feed himself in the future. If he finally decides to give up, he will become a burden to the society.

With divorce rates increasing in Singapore, it is considered as a norm to hear that certain parents are divorced. If 1 out of 5 divorce families have children that walks onto the wrong path, Singapore will be facing major trouble. Even if not, these children grow up to be emotionally scarred, and it will definitely affect their thinking or character in some manner. Therefore it is important for parents not to neglect their childrens' feelings.

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Labels: Divorce

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8:41 pm